The Compleat Writings of John Lillison

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"Let me read you from this book of poems...", Steve Martin, L.A. Story

This is the unofficial home page for John Lillison, England's greatest one-armed poet. You may have heard him quoted in the Steve Martin movies, The Man With Two Brains and L.A. Story. John was the first person ever to be killed in a car crash, in 1894.

What follows are the only two known poems from the Collected Poems of John Lillison. Of course that book doesn't exist and neither does John Lillison. But I always wondered what poem Steve Martin was quoting to Victoria Tennant at a critical scene of L.A. Story. I've put this page up so that anyone else ever puzzled by that poem finally has an answer.

In Dillman's Grove
In Dillman's Grove my love did die,
and now in ground shall ever lie.
None could ever replace her visage,
until your face brought thoughts of kissage.

Pointy Bird
O pointy birds, o pointy pointy,
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

See also this page.

Standard dislamers apply. You are allowed. No warranty offered nor implied. The FreshMaker(tm). Rinse thoroughly before usage. Hastur Hastur Hastur. Use only AR safe cloths. All original material on this page is copyright me and may not be reprinted without permission. I have invented all names and situations in my stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody (permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988)). I make no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceding information. -Zach